Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Relationships - Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone



I am an unabashed bookworm. Given the opportunity, I will ensconce myself on a couch, bed, or chair for hours (days even) reading. I love it. I also love Netflix, and social media - two remarkable inventions that allow me to stay current without ever leaving my home. I can interact with friends or family living several states or a continent away. One winter, I worked from home. It was one of the finest winters I have ever spent, because I only had to leave the house two days a week. That may be some people’s idea of torture, but it isn’t mine. Sure, I love to see my friends, do new things and visit new places, but, essentially, I am an introverted home body. So forming workplace relationships is hard.

It’s hard because it is exhausting. But, working around this can be very rewarding. As we’ve read and discussed, productive workplace relationships are essential to an employee’s success. Workplace friends are the people that help you learn the ropes at a new job, or they help you acquire a new skill that they are an expert at. While you learn from their wisdom and experience, they can learn from yours. After all, we’re all unique individuals with unique skills or understanding of situations.

My cousin, who also happens to be an introvert, often shares some great videos on the subject on Facebook (see what I mean about social media). One was a video on networking for introverts. I have found it super helpful over the last few years, and I thought I would share it with you.

 

One of my favorite tips from Ms. Cain is to take time to restore after you have to do something “out of character.” Generally, I apply this to my social life, but it’s also helpful at work. If I know I have a big day of meetings (or a big event or social engagement) one day, I try to let the next day be a recovery day of sorts. I’m still doing work, but it’s work that can be done on my own in my own space. Sometimes I can’t work my schedule out that way, and that’s ok. If that happens, I take a walk by myself for a few minutes, or make sure I get alone time at home (Full disclosure: there are days when I have to take 5 minutes to stand in a bathroom stall alone if I get super overwhelmed. Not proud of it, but these things happen and I feel restored afterward).

She also mentions using a “quota system” to decide which networking functions to attend. I don’t generally get invited to a lot of networking functions; however, I often find myself going to a person’s office for a quick chat about work projects. A few times a week, I like to use those chats as opportunities to also talk about that person and our common interests. I don’t feel comfortable doing personal chats every day, but they are a great foundation for productive workplace relationships.

I know some of you are likely introverts as well, so I hope you find these ideas as helpful as I have.

Also, here’s a bonus video I found earlier while searching Ms. Cain’s video. Enjoy!

 

1 comment:

Laura said...

(kindof the) Same.

While I don't think I'm as much as an introvert as you purport to be, I totally get where you're coming from. I went to a "Women in Energy" conference a few years ago, and a woman CEO gave similar advice. She said she's not naturally extroverted, but she's worked with it. She has decompression time at home every evening, time to just be alone and comfortable. I do that, too. Some days, when they have been very busy and collaborative (not Emerging Leaders days, because those are like sitting with friends on a porch), I come home and just snuggle on the couch for a little while... i mean, usually, I have to start on dishes/dinner, but sometimes I get to just chill. I think there are a lot more of us than we thought! Maybe most people that need to be ON all day long like to come home to blankets, comfy pants, and a book.